I remember approaching the door. Being welcomed into the house. The patterned victorian tiles in the hallway. A calm, serious, middle aged woman seating herself behind a desk, with chairs for me and him to sit in front. She is talking, offering some advice. She asks me to pee into a bottle in a downstairs toilet. She dips the pregnancy tests into yellow. Placing the first  in front of her on the desk, then a second, just to be sure.

Helen Sargeant, Two blue lines, ipad sketch, Seathwaite Campsite, 24/08/13,
Helen Sargeant, Two blue lines, ipad sketch, Seathwaite Campsite, 24/08/13

Two blue lines rushing across white windows. Saying YES, YES. Yes, I am here, a growing, multiplying bundle of cells. There is no denying the existence of an inner other. I am a yes, a tick, a plus, the opening of a sentence.

Syd in mums belly, ipad sketch, 26/08/2013, by Naoise aged 4, Seathwaite Campsite
Syd in mums belly, ipad sketch, 26/08/2013, by Naoise aged 4, Seathwaite Campsite

Some more advice and nervous smiles, then we are ushered out of the door into the autumn sunshine. A cup of tea in a cafe, a conversation, not feeling sure about anything, tearful one minute and elated the next.

About Helen Sargeant

I am a visual artist, mother of two children aged 12 and 4, and co-founder of the MeWe arts collective. I intend to use this site to explore how my personal experiences as a mother informs my arts practice. To reflect upon the maternal in relationship to memory, loss, and mental health in particu…Read more

Website: http://helensargeant.co.uk

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