I woke up this morning with palpitations, the anticipation, the fear of the imminent birth; birth has always frightened me, the fear of dying, birth and death inextricably linked in the universal cycle. What will it be like, how will it change life forever. This birth is ironically the birth from The Re-Bourne Company, Matthew Bourne’s incarnation of Lord of the Flies. It hit me last night driving home from Salford, as my little boy ( my baby) said “I’m nervous Mummy” He’ll perform in front of 10 000 people by the end of the week, he started it by dancing on Breakfast TV .
The Spiders meanwhile have taken over the house. Am I a Bad Mother? ( in the do stuff for your children instead of the housework sense ) I love Spiders they eat flies , I don’t love Flies, they bite me and spread disease. So I actively encourage the webs, but with all these rehearsals and maternal juggling, hours in between cutting glass and soldering for the Exhibition have I allowed them to go too far? The Spiders have taken over, there’s talk of a pet Tarantula. What have I set in motion?
The Spiders are the living incarnation of what could be the birth of a beautiful creative process of web spinning, the joy of my Sons dancing . It could also be the birth of a Monster, if you don’t like Spiders; the unknown. The fear of letting go, he’s still in primary school. I drop him at the Stage Door. There’s no Mothers pass to let me follow him. He’s on his own I’ve given birth to him, and now he can Fly. He journeys into the unknown. Will he be a Spider or a Fly?