to be a woman
to be a mother
to be a professional
to be educated and ambitious
to be in a relationship
to have children
to be an expatriate
to be who you are
where you are
you find yourself making choices
your life is a pile of puzzle pieces
you think and look and you shuffle the pieces
you try and go to work and it doesn‘t work
there is no work for you in this city
you have children
you have no childcare
you stay at home
you are miserable
you stay at home
you are happy
you go to work and it works
there is no work for your partner in this city
you are an expatriate
you are a mother
you shuffle the pieces
Federica, Italy
lawyer
British/Congolese partner
Mother of an 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old son
I work at the United Nations, the Office of the High Commissioner of the Human Rights. This is my tenth year in Geneva. I am from Italy, but after university I went to the UK to do a MA in International Law, then I went to India before coming here. My husband followed me to Geneva and has been on and off jobs since then. When he’s off a job, he does all the family work, but when he is working, he’s often away, like right now, he is in Afghanistan, then I need a baby sitter, unless I have family from Italy. When my family is here, it’s ok. It’s when I am alone with the baby sitter that it gets hard as all the pressure lays on me for everything, including discipline.
I think maybe I miss out a little, I may not be there during the day, eight hours a day, but then I think it’s better to have children who see their mother less, but when they do, they see her as a happy, satisfied person.
He has always been very supportive of my career and since I’ve been working for the UN, he has always put his career second. He doesn’t complain about this, but if there was one thing I could change, I’d make sure my husband could be satisfied professionally and be with us.