The camera lens,
And outside of motherhood,
I loved watching my body changing in pregnancy, admiring my reflection in the mirror, breast’s enlarging, areole darkening, bump rising. Mid pregnancy, I felt as ripe as a cherry, sexy, fulfilled. There was nothing more certain in my world, each day passing, my baby growing inside my body, filling me up, expanding the void.
The documentation of my first pregnancy was haphazard, I wished that I had been more organised, I wished that I had captured more of what I was thinking, of my body changing. You cannot step back, its hard now to imagine a time before children, it is a time lost. Girlhood gone.
Pregnancy, the arrival of motherhood, although just the beginning, the forming, it creeps up so fast, it is so demanding of body and mind. There is so much to do to plan, to organise for the baby, there is so much to be apprehensive about, to be excited about, to dream…..
This photograph was taken towards the end of my time living in an attic flat in Tuffnell Park, London. The beginning of the third trimester, so it must have been taken in the spring time, the light is bright crisp and floods the image. Soon I would be moving to Kings Cross, packing up the boxes, cleaning and painting the new flat, preparing for Sydney’s birth.
I was comfortable mid pregnancy. I could move I had energy and vitality. I had such hope. I felt strong.
I love this series of photographs “40 Weeks And A Mirror” by Sophie Starzenski published in November the guardian last year.