I was very lucky with the birth of my three children. All went well and there were no complications. This allows me to look back at those moments with a sense of peacefulness.
With the passing of time, our minds often tend to magnify our memories, sometimes turning them into more intense experiences covering them with a thin layer of romanticism. That’s why I remember all about those first cuddles and not so much about the pain that preceded them. Somehow, in my memories, that steady and acute pain softens and becomes almost pleasurable.
Straight after giving birth, whilst everyone is still whirling around doing all the checks, I found myself being completely still.
As a “Madonna in Maesta'” I’m sitting in the birthing pool holding my baby for the first time. We’re still connecting through the umbilical cord. I can feel it and it hurts a bit. Yes, it’s uncomfortable but I don’t mind. I stay still and I let everybody look after me.
In that instant I become a black hole, a void in which things falls into and vanish. My worries, my fears, my future… all disappear in the abyss I created and for once only that moment existed.